An urge to come out

It isn't about sexuality.

We all have our own secrets, big or small. There is this urge to come out when you meet someone who seems to be able to understand. It's like the drawing of the pilot in The Little Prince; he shows it to the Little Prince and he understands.

I have just met a guy who seems to possess this unusual ability. And I have such a picture...Maybe...

Midday prayer

No one came. But I managed to light four candles without burning my finger or setting the crypt on fire, so it wasn't too bad after all.

婦女神學作業--禮儀

完成了！

入學以來三次分組presentation，三次都關於禮儀。第一次是名正言順，因為課程是崇拜及禮儀，第二次是上旁門與新興宗教，今次則是婦女神學。

察覺自己的轉變：由第一次大部分時間聽組員討論，自己跟隨，到第二次獨自寫禮儀，但有點胡里胡塗，到今次終於知道自己所作何事。

其實學院就有這個特色，有空間讓大家學習/發揮關於崇拜禮儀這課題。保守的有保守的學習，想創新也可以。

Advent wreath 2009

Years later, will I still remember this?

I hope years later, I will still remember John, Kelvin and I put this together.

I like the crystal-like candle holders. The IKEA candles burn surprisingly well. The purple flowers we got from the Flower Market. We had them dried. John even put them under the sun. The wreath I got from a shop in my neighbourhood and we made some changes to it. That disk under the wreath, well, what do you think it is? It came from my kitchen.

有性別意識的崇拜禮儀

為了星期二婦女神學課堂的報告，在過去一星期我都忙於撰寫一個有性別意識的崇拜禮儀。

正值將臨期，這個禮儀就以馬利亞即將臨盆為背景，選讀的經文都是關於這個的。

寫這禮儀的困難，主要是我要首先打破自己的想法、習慣，所謂undo, unlearn，習慣了一開口就「奉聖父、聖子、聖靈的名」開始聚會，如何改變？是否單單把聖父變為聖母就可以？但聖母又教人想起耶穌的母親馬利亞啊！

困難是沒有什麼可以抄襲。天下文章一大抄，大概天下禮儀都是一大抄。美其名是跟隨傳統，但實際可能是我們懶。要用心寫好禮儀是何等花心力，香港有幾大教會願意「請」一個牧師/傳道人不作什麼(即不開會、不開班、不見人)，只求做好崇拜禮儀？

如果崇拜禮儀是我們預嚐天國的途徑，我們就更要正視當中隱藏的不平等。如果我們在崇拜禮儀中與天上地下眾聖徒相通，我們就更要留心這是一個怎樣的團契。

有反思，才不會陷入「食老本」的危機。

The two-edged sword

God's word is active and sharp like a two-edged sword.

But if this two-edged sword is for cutting away my sins, then perhaps it's not so sharp after all.

My sins are in my being. I may behave good, but I can't do away with my nature.

I had quite an interesting "conversation" with a student at the seminary about the content of a teacher's reflection in the morning Eucharist service. I thought she had got it wrong, that she had misunderstood our teacher's words. Her idea that God had to cut out our badness before we could freely come to God/God come to us was very telling. It's a very typical idea taught by many local congregations. We're all sinners. We're bad through and through. Ok, grace is free; but we do not deserve it. We have to "respond" to God's grace by doing good, acting good, by not sinning anymore.

But if sin is in my being, then how can I stop being a sinner?

Didn't Jesus die for us even when we are still sinners?

So, what is grace?

Worship at Chung Chi

John was invited to lead a Taize-style worship service at a weekly assembly at Chung Chi. More than 20 LTS students joined it. It had to be a new experience to quite a number of Chung Chi students. To me, there was also something new. The venue was different; we sat on chairs with shoes on instead of sitting barefeet on the floor; and there were much more participants. We brought with us the liturgy books, Taize song books, two icons, candles and even eight dried flowers. In other words, we brought with us almost everything we needed for the service except the bread and wine.

I was a bit too conscious that we were having the service with students of another seminary. It was as if I was showing something instead of having our worship service as usual.

There were also some observations on my part: when we prayed, it was usually a prayer with explanation and what we wanted God to do; maybe we felt we needed to explain the whole story. And in the Q and A session, the questions were not unexpected. There was one on the meaning of the eight flowers. The three incense were another subject matter. They're too close to traditional Chinese religion to make one comfortable.

All in all, an interesting evening.

Books, CDs and icons on sale.


Upon leaving Chung Chi.