我同阿媽的對話

電視做緊天氣報告，天氣先生被高漲的雨水浸住。

我：「聽日會落狗C。」

阿媽：「今日都落狗C。」

我們這一家，就係咁喺度C來C去。

阿妹的選擇

我問她要兔仔定係蝦蟆之之，她選擇後者。

阿媽受浸

2011年復活節，阿伯友受浸喇，哈利路亞！


牧師對鞋。

拜年時也是尷尬時

親友一年一度的會面，一年可以發生許多時，例如身邊伴侶換了人，然後親友認不出原來不是舊人，又或一時口快快，叫了舊人的名字。

我都話啦，叫靚仔靚女咪好囉，唔駛叫名啦。

K11

位於河內道很骨子的商場，我逛了一陣子，在超市買了這束花送給媽。

My latest OCD

Since I can't wash my hands that much, I decided to wash clothes instead.

Family problems make a clean home. We're all striving to outdo the other in terms of household chores.

其實我都忘了

今天再一次和長袍老師到黃大仙廟，同行的還有Dr Jan，都是亦師亦友關心我的人。這趟是為下周一的宣教日作準備，在姨婆的檔口借「道具」拍照，可惜姨婆今早不在。

其實我都忘了，忘了孩童時代在黃大仙過的日子，廟的四周也變了，沒有了東南西北座，賣香的香解籤的不再是隨意的聚集，一切都變得有規有矩，井然有序，是控制，是社會不再容許隨機的發展。

我仍有這種感覺，就是童年的我是寂寞的。我對黃大仙廟的回憶，就只是抵達後跟婆婆、太婆和姨婆請安，然後就是我獨個兒四處逛，在這個迷宮一樣的地方自得其樂。在那些年間，我從沒有踏進廟中，甚至連它的影都沒有見過。

我記得婆婆那個牛仔布顏色的錢袋，我記得那寫著她五十八歲的商業登記證，於是我一直以為她五十八歲......我還記得她「樓上」有個解籤伯伯，及她餵貓的貓飯。

三歲定八十，有望在八十一那年不再寂寞嗎？

給你(11)--寫紙仔

親愛的在山：

我又重回收紙仔的生活。

因為家裡都沒有人的說話聲音了。

留下來的，只有重重的關門聲，包括大門、雪櫃門......

總教我想起Isabel Allende的The House of the Spirit。你知道這書嗎？

今早，我醒過後，要待只我一人在家才起床。

我想找個地方躲起來。

留低這串鎖匙。

記得我是雙子座嗎？

雙子座找到她的雙生兒了。

你的我

Quiet again

I have the impression that it always happens in April/May. What's wrong??

天后廟與花市

年三十，與母親逛屯門年宵市場。

傳來燒香氣味，看到出售的風車，想起在黃大仙廟渡過的童年。

花

媽媽買了鮮花回家，她喜歡家中多一點色彩。

養了三條魚，因為她喜歡家中多點活力。

我不插花，也不養魚，我們是迥然不同的人。

Hospital visit

Mom visited Uncle at the hospital this afternoon. He's getting worse; and the hospital wants him to get out without giving him any referral to any hospital for terminal patients. I usually get fed up with poverty at moments like this. Where is human dignity? Where is compassion. But when we only have limited resources, when the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer, we can only endure and try to survive.

Mom asked the TFS congregation to pray for Uncle. It's the first time she made such a request.

I am thinking about the Gospel reading of tomorrow. A blind man tells Jesus that he wants to see; and Jesus says his faith has saved him. What's faith? For one blind man getting back his sight, there are numerous others who remain visually impaired. How am I to understand Jesus' healing?

P.S. Uncle died this evening (25 Oct 2009). May he rest in peace.

Getting prepared...

...mentally, for a family death.

Death is not the word we say; but we all know it. The doctors said they had already done everything they could.

We are calm. Of course, we are not the most immediate family. I don't know what Aunt and Cousin Alan are thinking. I don't know how they are coping.

We all have to go through it, this getting prepared thing. But then, we also know that you can never get really prepared. When death comes, even when it has made its announcement beforehand, one always feels shocked and lost.

I hope they are coping.

What's underneath

This photo shows the wall at TFS next to the Moon Gate. We seldom see what is underneath the whitewash. The bricks look surprisingly beautiful.

What is on the surface? What is underneath? When I first studied English Literature back in the secondary school, the theme of appearance and reality often showed up. This theme also dominates our life.

Mom has been going to church. She attends the Sunday worship service. She is a regular now, though she still hasn't known many people of the congregation. We had a chat this morning while having breakfast. She talked about a pulpit message urging those who only attended worship service to take part in other activities as well. Maybe I am of a more rebellious spirit. I just told her that even worship service isn't neccessary for her salvation. She only has to believe. And in case people at church are concerned about her "spiritual develpment", well, just tell them there is a seminarian at home who can take care of that.

It's interesting to witness my mother going through this becoming-Christian process. I just hope that she won't be turned off by the church. It looks as though the doors of the church are always open, but once you are in, you know things look different.