分組討論

近日課堂的分組討論令我有點納悶；多口的我都想閉嘴了。

昨天的課題是道成肉身。

一組四男一女，大概我們五人的理解能力都非常差勁，大家都講廣東話，卻彷彿有四、五種語言在運行，你說的suffering跟我說的不同，你說的東卻是他口中的西，當X變成Y，當Y又變成Z，只覺有五把聲音，五個獨白，五個頻道。

或許我們都不懂得聆聽。聆聽不只是用耳聽，更要有心理準備，我原有的意見會因為你的說話而改變，我也不是向著改變你的想法出發。

我頭痛了，可以轉投其他組別嗎？

修改講章

長袍老師說我寫了一篇很好的講章。

當然是多得他的協助和鼓勵，也感謝去年Dr Gabi教我們講道學，讓我們走出華人教會講道的框框。

今次我對老師的提議並沒有「照單全收」。我喜歡跟他對話，我喜歡提出問題、反建議。

完成修改後，我離開他的辦公室往學院方向走，心裡有一點點感動，也有一點點難過。感動是因為老師身體不適、工作堆積如山，但仍把我的講道放在很高的位置，是要優先處理的；難過是大概只有道風山才容得下我這一類人。我問老師：「Do you think I can be a pastor?」是可以的，但香港沒有幾多教會適合我。

老師打算在崇拜前跟我練習練習一下，如此良師益友竟在我身邊，心裡只有感恩。

Graduation sermon

Students who are doing their first B.Th or M.Div have to deliver a graduation sermon in their final year. In the past, they had to do it twice. From this semester on, they only have to do it once.

We had our first graduation sermon today.

I hadn't been in a Chinese congregation for more than a year. The sermon today reminded me that kind of sermons I usually listened to when I was still active in a local congregation.

For one thing, it's long! Of course, it didn't last 90 minutes, which wasn't unusual in a Chinese church. The rule was you only got 20 minutes for everything. By everything, I mean the sermon, hymns, everything from start to finish. That sermon was long, and unnecessarily so. If size didn't matter, then surely the length of a sermon did, and the longer the better!

And I learned something about the speaker's daughter(s). I had absolutely no interest in how his daughters were doing and I wasn't sure they wanted to be part of the sermon. Anyway, I was reminded how many personal details I had learned in the past both from the pulpit and from the one who's leading the singing or the service.

The sermon was also about what we should do. A bit moralizing, though not as much as I feared.

I had thought about not attending the morning prayer today. Maybe I am becoming intolerant.

Plan B

John wasn't feeling well so we had to get someone else to preach and to lead the liturgy in our worship service yesterday.

Things went well. We worked together; every one of us did a little bit (or more than just a little bit) extra. I could say we were even more efficient in setting things up before the service and getting things back afterwards.

So, what's in a worship service? Isn't it about the participation of every one of us? It's not about doing things professionally; we shouldn't regard ministers and pastors as professionals anyway.

I was calm and quick. But I did miss my usually more leisurely pace on Sundays.

The unexpected happens. Life is full of these little or big surprises.

Preparing my second sermon

(Editing my sermon in Pacific Coffee, Shatin.)

Now I know what copy editing is.

John and I went through my sermon yesterday. We did it line by line. He gave me many useful and constructive comments, and told me what worked and what didn't. His help on the language was also very important and much appreciated. After all, English isn't my first language.

When he told me certain parts were good, I asked him why they were so. I learned a lot not just in how to write a sermon, but also in editing! I could see that he must be a very good editor. It's surprising how little I much I had learned about editorial work not in my career as an editor by in our going through my sermon together.

John said he wanted me to be more profound. What did he mean? I could kind of grasp his meaning yesterday but I understand more now. I was telling people what to think in my first draft. But I didn't really let people think on their own. I was saying, "Hey guys, what I am saying is the truth. So listen, and listen very hard." The draft had already been toned down bit but obviously it wasn't enough. There was so much fire in my heart that I just wanted to scream. I needed to be more subtle and not hitting people on their head.

And then I thought about the Feminist Theology class. It wasn't bad. But the teacher was so passionate about overcoming domination and deconstructing systems of oppression that she didn't really allow us to think or disagree. There wasn't dialogue. At best, we had different monologues. So, how can we keep our fire and keep the doors open for dialogue? Difficult, but hopefully not impossible.

My second draft is almost finished. Just need to cool things down a bit before I read it again to see how it goes.

不快樂的的士司機

不快樂，因為在的士站等了個多小時，然後遇到我，一個要由大圍火車站到道風山的乘客。

司機一聽到道風山就大聲嘆氣，然後全程「鵝」我，告訴我他為何不快，告訴我要空車出九龍，很不爽。

我也不爽；我也不快樂。我知道打的上山要三思，我都希望司機大佬們的收入足以維生，我也不想令你們不快。

Where is this bus leading you?

Picture taken at about 5:30 in the morning.