因為冷了，所以我們把Christ Temple的門關上了。
十一月的寒冷天氣警告，我問來自瑞典的朋友，我們在貴國嗎？
活像瑞典的冷，卻沒有那裡的暖氣。
然後我想起上個冬天，我們也曾因為低溫而關上聖殿的門。
在冷空氣中，鳥鳴顯得更清脆。
昨天接到舊教會弟兄的來電，他說，很久沒有見過你了。
然後我說，我轉了教會，之後是對方半秒的的無言。他似乎很明白，又或許是不知如何回應。
我仍舊參與周五早上的聖餐，仍舊早起乘坐首班巴士，只是有些人我不再願意見，有些地方我不會想再去。
Friday, November 20, 2009
Life is absurd
I had taught English to a group of women in the community for three years. Primary school level English that wouldn't really make a difference in their life.
Zi Teng offers English classes as well.
So there were those women I had taught who sought, and probably still seek, some kind of upward mobility or perhaps just a better chance in getting a job through the English course. There are also those women who want to learn more English for their trade as some of their customers are foreigners. My students have been praised again and agian for their hard work and diligence. Keep learning; keeping improving yourself; keep adding value to yourself! Then there are those sex workers who take English courses. There won't be any hand clapping for them. So what is the difference?
I see many similarities between these two groups of people except the nature of their job (or maybe you won't agree that sex work is a job). Life is complex. Maybe too complex.
Zi Teng offers English classes as well.
So there were those women I had taught who sought, and probably still seek, some kind of upward mobility or perhaps just a better chance in getting a job through the English course. There are also those women who want to learn more English for their trade as some of their customers are foreigners. My students have been praised again and agian for their hard work and diligence. Keep learning; keeping improving yourself; keep adding value to yourself! Then there are those sex workers who take English courses. There won't be any hand clapping for them. So what is the difference?
I see many similarities between these two groups of people except the nature of their job (or maybe you won't agree that sex work is a job). Life is complex. Maybe too complex.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The story I shared with Eva and her congregation in Denmark
I went with more than 30 students from Norway to Wong Tai Sin Temple last week and it brought me many childhood memories. I had spent many a Sunday there as my grandma had a stall there selling incense and other offerings. I don’t know how this incense selling business sounds to people in Denmark, but certainly in HK, it has got me into trouble. I had worked in a mission organization for more than 4 years. My boss had no trouble hiring me as an editor. But once she and another colleague found out the nature of my grandma’s business, I was “asked” to confess my sin and repent. They thought that my family had some kind of connection to the evil. Perhaps it was really evil to make money and make a living. I was sorry that these mission people didn’t really care that even though we were selling incense in a temple, it was straightly business. For all the years I spent in Wong Tai Sin Temple, I never went in to worship any idols. The visit there last week was actually the first time I stepped inside and took a good look.
My Christian faith probably started when I was a student in a Protestant primary school. I learned the Lord’s prayer though I had no idea what it was about until much later. I learned most the hymns I know now from that time as well. The hymns we sang were not local composition. We sang the same tunes with people in the UK (our colonial master, remember?) but the words had been translated into Chinese. Since the translations very often didn’t really work, so very often our Lord became a pig. (The word Lord and pig have the same pronunciation in Cantonese except for their different tones). So for a long time, I sang: “pig” Jesus loves me. I don’t intend to blaspheme here; but maybe the above experience has taught me the need of localization and contextualization in our faith.
I didn’t go to church until I was a secondary school student. I was probably 16 or 17 at that time, studying in a Buddhist secondary school. There was indeed a Buddhist monastery next to our school and we had a Buddhist nun teaching us Buddhism. Buddhism remains a mystery to me and I see it as a philosophy more than a religion. Even though we had Buddhism lessons, no one really tried to convert us into Buddhism. I remember one of my teachers who was a Roman Catholic. She asked us to be respectful of this school religion even if we were of other faith. And that Buddhist nun teacher had also mentioned something about respect. She told us that when she went to a Christian church, she would do exactly what others did. I didn’t like this nun very much but I must say that I respected this attitude of hers.
So what do all the above lead us to? Now I am a Christian. I am leading a fairly active life in a congregation at TFS. And I met Eva there. I am a seminary student who is quite serious about her studies and wants to know more about the Christian faith. I believe that God was with me even in that sunny Sunday more than 20 years ago when I was playing around Wong Tai Sin Temple. I believe that God was still there even when I chose to go to a Buddhist school after my education in a Protestant one. Some of my Christian friends in HK would be horrified if they knew that I was going to a Taoist temple. At least one of my Christian friends would say going to a Buddhist school is a bad idea (and he’s teaching in one!). One of my teachers at the seminary is into interfaith dialogue. I had gone to a Sikh temple with him lately. I have seen too much exclusion and too little care in local churches. If God is love, is that love only for Christians? Or does God love all? If God loves the Jews, does God also love the Danish and Chinese?
Last but not least, thank Eva for inviting me to share my story. And I’d like to send my warm greetings to my dear brothers and sisters in Lord in Denmark. Though I haven’t met you, I believe that Jesus has called us to be one.
My Christian faith probably started when I was a student in a Protestant primary school. I learned the Lord’s prayer though I had no idea what it was about until much later. I learned most the hymns I know now from that time as well. The hymns we sang were not local composition. We sang the same tunes with people in the UK (our colonial master, remember?) but the words had been translated into Chinese. Since the translations very often didn’t really work, so very often our Lord became a pig. (The word Lord and pig have the same pronunciation in Cantonese except for their different tones). So for a long time, I sang: “pig” Jesus loves me. I don’t intend to blaspheme here; but maybe the above experience has taught me the need of localization and contextualization in our faith.
I didn’t go to church until I was a secondary school student. I was probably 16 or 17 at that time, studying in a Buddhist secondary school. There was indeed a Buddhist monastery next to our school and we had a Buddhist nun teaching us Buddhism. Buddhism remains a mystery to me and I see it as a philosophy more than a religion. Even though we had Buddhism lessons, no one really tried to convert us into Buddhism. I remember one of my teachers who was a Roman Catholic. She asked us to be respectful of this school religion even if we were of other faith. And that Buddhist nun teacher had also mentioned something about respect. She told us that when she went to a Christian church, she would do exactly what others did. I didn’t like this nun very much but I must say that I respected this attitude of hers.
So what do all the above lead us to? Now I am a Christian. I am leading a fairly active life in a congregation at TFS. And I met Eva there. I am a seminary student who is quite serious about her studies and wants to know more about the Christian faith. I believe that God was with me even in that sunny Sunday more than 20 years ago when I was playing around Wong Tai Sin Temple. I believe that God was still there even when I chose to go to a Buddhist school after my education in a Protestant one. Some of my Christian friends in HK would be horrified if they knew that I was going to a Taoist temple. At least one of my Christian friends would say going to a Buddhist school is a bad idea (and he’s teaching in one!). One of my teachers at the seminary is into interfaith dialogue. I had gone to a Sikh temple with him lately. I have seen too much exclusion and too little care in local churches. If God is love, is that love only for Christians? Or does God love all? If God loves the Jews, does God also love the Danish and Chinese?
Last but not least, thank Eva for inviting me to share my story. And I’d like to send my warm greetings to my dear brothers and sisters in Lord in Denmark. Though I haven’t met you, I believe that Jesus has called us to be one.
Hunger
I have never experienced real hunger; I always have a home to return.
But I don't think life is always easy in my family. My family has never been rich. I suspect that there were times that we just managed to survive; and I believe the same thing has happened to my neighbours.
We are just ordinary people trying to survive.
I admire many of the mothers in my neighbourhood. My childhood was filled with all those Mrs, and in particular there was Mrs Ng who lived opposite us.
Life is difficult. But those mothers I know have always provided shelter and security not only to their children, but to others' as well.
The Feminist Theology class visited Zi Teng last night. We had the chance to talk face to face with a sex worker.
This sex worker is like any other mothers whom I know, taking care of her son, trying to give him the best.
People may say she is morally corrupt. She will not be welcome by most churches.
But who are we that we think we can judge her? We who have never experienced any real hunger, we who always have a roof above our head, what makes us think we can judge her "morality"? And who is to say what is moral and what is not?
But I don't think life is always easy in my family. My family has never been rich. I suspect that there were times that we just managed to survive; and I believe the same thing has happened to my neighbours.
We are just ordinary people trying to survive.
I admire many of the mothers in my neighbourhood. My childhood was filled with all those Mrs, and in particular there was Mrs Ng who lived opposite us.
Life is difficult. But those mothers I know have always provided shelter and security not only to their children, but to others' as well.
The Feminist Theology class visited Zi Teng last night. We had the chance to talk face to face with a sex worker.
This sex worker is like any other mothers whom I know, taking care of her son, trying to give him the best.
People may say she is morally corrupt. She will not be welcome by most churches.
But who are we that we think we can judge her? We who have never experienced any real hunger, we who always have a roof above our head, what makes us think we can judge her "morality"? And who is to say what is moral and what is not?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
教會會籍問題
究竟為甚麼要有教會會籍？為甚麼當我受洗加入普世教會時，要同時加入一個堂會？
教會會籍於我代表：每年參與一次會員大會，但你不是會友都可以參加啊！至於投票權，除了要有會友的身分外，亦要在過去兩年有金錢奉獻，要有奉獻收據。難怪有人比喻奉獻為交會費，或親切點說是俾家用。這引伸了另一問題：冇錢「交會費」是否就冇投票權？
教會會籍於我代表：每年參與一次會員大會，但你不是會友都可以參加啊！至於投票權，除了要有會友的身分外，亦要在過去兩年有金錢奉獻，要有奉獻收據。難怪有人比喻奉獻為交會費，或親切點說是俾家用。這引伸了另一問題：冇錢「交會費」是否就冇投票權？
Friday, November 13, 2009
A great day to meet friends
It's great to meet friends for some delicious dim sum and a cup of coffee, especially after I had gone through a funeral in the previous evening.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
一個僱主帶查經的故事
這樣的一個故事，令人懷疑我們在教會究竟學到甚麼？
一個僱主在家帶查經，高聲大談神的恩典。
他的外籍傭工從中午十二點就沒有吃過甚麼，查經未完，未有得開飯。
她己煮好晚飯；她從電飯煲取出一匙飯，吃了，也吃了一只雞翼。
查經終於在十點結束，僱主說可以開飯了。當他發現電飯煲內少了一匙飯，即大興問罪，並在一班查經的弟兄姊妹面前責罵傭工。
究竟福音是甚麼？究竟擁護中產價值的教會，傳了怎麼樣的福音？
一個僱主在家帶查經，高聲大談神的恩典。
他的外籍傭工從中午十二點就沒有吃過甚麼，查經未完，未有得開飯。
她己煮好晚飯；她從電飯煲取出一匙飯，吃了，也吃了一只雞翼。
查經終於在十點結束，僱主說可以開飯了。當他發現電飯煲內少了一匙飯，即大興問罪，並在一班查經的弟兄姊妹面前責罵傭工。
究竟福音是甚麼？究竟擁護中產價值的教會，傳了怎麼樣的福音？
窮人與教會
有一教會座落在全港數一數二的貧窮地區，這教會正在考慮購買地方作永久會址，但在寸金尺土的香港談何容易。
貧窮地區正進行重建，有關部門收回土地，被迫搬遷的貧窮戶不滿卻無計可施，唯有在自己的窗戶掛上一張又一張的橫額抗議。
教會沒有看到這些貧窮人的抗議，他們的牧師、領袖只看到機會，就是擴展自己的機會，他們構想重建後的社區會如何需要教會的服事，他們幻想或許在重建項目中，有機會為教會找到一個永久會址。
教會裡充滿衣著光鮮的專業人士、四四正正銀行戶口不是中產但以為自己是中產的人士，福音？不提也罷。
貧窮地區正進行重建，有關部門收回土地，被迫搬遷的貧窮戶不滿卻無計可施，唯有在自己的窗戶掛上一張又一張的橫額抗議。
教會沒有看到這些貧窮人的抗議，他們的牧師、領袖只看到機會，就是擴展自己的機會，他們構想重建後的社區會如何需要教會的服事，他們幻想或許在重建項目中，有機會為教會找到一個永久會址。
教會裡充滿衣著光鮮的專業人士、四四正正銀行戶口不是中產但以為自己是中產的人士，福音？不提也罷。
Friday, November 6, 2009
Family gathering
We had our family gathering at John's home this morning.
We were asked each to tell a story. It's an excellent way for me to know more about my friends.
There're sad stories, funny stories, inspiring stories.
When we parted, when all of the family members except me and Robert went back to the seminary, I felt a bit sad that I had to leave them. I wished I could live nearer.
New experiences today: tried spicy Lao salad, licked by a dog, braved my way past two dogs to open a gate for a friend (and me a bit afraid of dogs)...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
參與姊妹論壇後感
到達安素堂後，眼見其副堂用椅姊圍了一個大圈，前方有長桌子，是預留給講員/分享者的位置，整個地方很大，太大了，因為參加者並不多，當中或許超過一半是胡露茜在中大和信神的學生，來參與是我們的課堂要求。胡露茜誠然是一個好的運動推動者，她帶領我們走出課室，走出理論，去真正實踐，給予我們參與其中的機會。但這又引發另一個問題：若非有這兩班學生，這個論壇會是甚麼景況？會否成為真正的小貓三兩隻？婦女議題在香港教會圈子是否真的如斯備受忽視？小眾的聲嘶力竭，要經過多少年月才會有被聆聽的機會？
假若我閉起眼睛，不看台前寫著「姊妹論壇」的橫幅，其實整個聚會與一般基督教聚會無異：沉悶調子的詩歌、毫不起勁的司琴、參與者半冷不熱地跟隨著唱。這些可能是我的偏見，但我認為你不能強迫參與者投入，更好的方法是你的詩歌本身令他們投入。這些年來，我參加了不少被迫與隔鄰手牽手的聚會，幸好今次沒有，我只想說，其實我並不相信那些universal brotherhood/sisterhood的講法，就容讓我保持一點距離吧！
我參加的分組討論，題目為神學教育及信徒培育，我們提及一點：關於性別意識的科目，全港只有兩間神學院有這類課程，而且都不是必修的。這個論點跟我以前參與過的差傳聚會提及的簡直一模一樣：神學院要求學生修讀三個學分的宣教課程，可見神學院對這方面的不重視云云。或許這是香港基督教圈子的特色，你可以將議題換上為性別意識、宣教、社會公義，或一些你認為教會應該關心卻沒有的題目，然後是一式一樣的聚會模式，又或許全世界都是這樣，只是我對本地團體的偏見。
我欣賞一班有心人的努力，但實在看不見出路。教會講求果效，與龍應台批判香港的所謂「中環價值」、一切只求經濟效益相似。畢竟香港教會都是香港的一分子。若教會只要求神學生在神學院學會一套牧會的技能而不是深入的神學反思，若神學院只求收生人數的上升及自己的座大，若神學生只求完成若干學分、好好學成如何設計崇拜、主日學等等，如何過渡每一個主日，而沒有反思這些課題內裡的神學意義，我實在看不見我們的出路。
假若我閉起眼睛，不看台前寫著「姊妹論壇」的橫幅，其實整個聚會與一般基督教聚會無異：沉悶調子的詩歌、毫不起勁的司琴、參與者半冷不熱地跟隨著唱。這些可能是我的偏見，但我認為你不能強迫參與者投入，更好的方法是你的詩歌本身令他們投入。這些年來，我參加了不少被迫與隔鄰手牽手的聚會，幸好今次沒有，我只想說，其實我並不相信那些universal brotherhood/sisterhood的講法，就容讓我保持一點距離吧！
我參加的分組討論，題目為神學教育及信徒培育，我們提及一點：關於性別意識的科目，全港只有兩間神學院有這類課程，而且都不是必修的。這個論點跟我以前參與過的差傳聚會提及的簡直一模一樣：神學院要求學生修讀三個學分的宣教課程，可見神學院對這方面的不重視云云。或許這是香港基督教圈子的特色，你可以將議題換上為性別意識、宣教、社會公義，或一些你認為教會應該關心卻沒有的題目，然後是一式一樣的聚會模式，又或許全世界都是這樣，只是我對本地團體的偏見。
我欣賞一班有心人的努力，但實在看不見出路。教會講求果效，與龍應台批判香港的所謂「中環價值」、一切只求經濟效益相似。畢竟香港教會都是香港的一分子。若教會只要求神學生在神學院學會一套牧會的技能而不是深入的神學反思，若神學院只求收生人數的上升及自己的座大，若神學生只求完成若干學分、好好學成如何設計崇拜、主日學等等，如何過渡每一個主日，而沒有反思這些課題內裡的神學意義，我實在看不見我們的出路。
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